Yes, girls like this exist. In fact just the other day my buddy was telling me about this Brazilian chick he had met in Iceland. Three days later he’s talking with her on the computer and what does she do? She sends him naked pictures of herself.

Then they start talking on the phone and she starts talking about how she hasn’t had sex in 2 months and that she likes anal, etc etc. Point of the story is that I saw the pictures, and she looked like this chick in the orange up above.

And it depressed me. Yes it depressed me. Why? Because women like this DO exist. It’s not some pipe dream or “they only exists in movies or magazines. Bikini hotties like this actually do take anal. What a world.

Pictures uploaded by kafercrazy

There’s something very alluring about being able to see a girl’s ass and her face at the same time. It’s almost a “you know you like this” kind of a look. Well, except when the chick weighs north of 300 pounds and you want to puke.

But we’re not going to focus on that here. We’re going to focus on the tightly packed tushies and skimpy little bikinis.

Enjoy this collection of girls who are looking back at us.

Pictures uploaded by Kafercrazy

So if you were paying any attention in June of this year you could have been watching the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Contest. Personally I have better things to do than to completely torture myself with the knowledge that the closest I’ll ever get to these women is by trying to touch their 2 dimensional bodies on paper.

I’m just kidding man. Don’t you know I’ve been with all of these women? I’m their manager. I’m a total liar and a horrible human being. That’s right. I’m the asshole. I’m the asshole in the place?

Tell me something man. Where do all the high school girls hang out around here? This is what happens when you have writer’s block. You start spitting out lines from movies. Hope you liked it.

Picture uploaded by conrado4

I know that these pictures are two dimensional but I almost find myself tilting my head, positioning the monitor, and doing just about everything within my power to get a glance at that nipple. And no matter what I do, that nipple will be safely tucked away.

That’s why you have to love and completely hate these pictures. It’s kind of like “alright already!” It’s not like you’re fooling us ladies. Are you more classy because a string is shoved up your ass with a thong yet it’s “homelier” because your nipples aren’t exposed?

I say go one extreme or another. Then again, you can’t deny that these pictures pretty much rule.

Pictures uploaded by dantheman75

Whoever took these pictures is both A. Awesome and B. A complete and total skeezball. But I’m not saying I don’t appreciate the effort. There’s nothing like seeing asses oiled up and hoping you could be that guy who just says “How about I just go down on you right now?”

I’ve always wanted to do that. Reality states that “any girl when asked to have her hoo hoo eaten by a strange man on the beach will automatically refuse. The odds are about 1 in a 1000 that she says yes.”

Well then that solves it. I will go up to 1000 girls on a beach asking the “go down on you” question. It’s all about the numbers baby.

Damn I love oil.

Pictures uploaded by willalb05

Sure I get it. Just another Miss Hawaiian Tropic contest that we can simply add to the well here. But it’s not so much that it’s Miss Hawaiian Tropic. It’s that it was in Boliva. It’s that all these chicks are Latinas. It’s that all of them can dance.

It’s that all of them get oiled up. It’s the fact that they all also got completely liquored up after the event. It’s just all these things that make anything non American having to do with women an amazing thing. Can you imagine going out and getting trashed with these chicks?

You’d be surprised how the fact they’re hot would mean absolutely nothing once the alcohol sets in. You know the best thing to do with models? Call them fat. Seriously.

Get them so insecure that they have no choice but to constantly seek your approval. Take that all the way into the bedroom. “You’re blowjob skills are embarrassing and they make you fat.”

Pictures uploaded by Mr.G2P

I mean why get all excited about some Harley Rally from over a year ago right? Why bother posting something like this right? Wrong. Interesting in normal yet hot looking chicks spraying water all over themselves?

Yeah, this would be the right place. Interested in seeing chicks who would probably give you time of day and have sex with you that night? You’ve reached the right place. Like chicks bending over? Check.

Like imagining all these things and then realizing they’re 100% far from the truth yet I put this thought into your head so the next time you go out you will get completely taken for a ride?

And how about these run on sentences huh?

Pictures uploaded by eisenbahn9

Sometimes we get jaded by women that are famous. At times we’re so used to the Pamela Anderson’s of the world that we don’t stop and think of how unlimited the supply of hot women really is out there. It’s almost sickening.

I mean I get tired of a lot of things. I eat too much sushi, I stop for a while. If I have a gallon of ice cream, chances are I’ll take a break. But this ridiculous abundance of attractive women? It’s mind boggling at times. I guarantee you that if you looked hard enough you could find 1000 legitimately hot chicks who you’ve never seen, every day for the rest of your life.

What’s amazing is that you never seem to see them in actual life. it’s always in a magazine or a site like this. Are all these chicks just sitting in a room somewhere trapped by one guy? Possibly Hug Hefner. Maybe this guy has a corner on the entire hot girl market.

Maybe he controls porn, Victoria’s Secret, the whole kit and kaboodle. Maybe this article sucks. Maybe I should just be showing you hot chicks wearing swimsuits whose names I doubt you’d know.

Most pictures uploaded by zaramire

You gotta wonder. Do blondes actually have a better time when they’re out than a brunette would? I must admit, I’m more of a brunette fan and for whatever reason this whole “blondes are dumb” thing started it just seems true doesn’t it? I don’t know why it does, it just does.

There seems to be this switch that goes off when you see a blonde out there that she’s automatically prone to walking into signs, stumbling in heels and saying “what?” about 1600 times a day. I suppose it’s an unfortunate stereotype but it’s certainly a fun stereotype.

And the whole blondes having more fun thing. That’s gotta be true. Because when someone is so oblivious to the rest of the world and all rational thinking, they are bound to be lighter and more airy thus making things seem a hell of a lot more fun than they are.

Then again, what do I know. Blonds could have it made. Maybe they’re smart than all of us and are playing us like a grand piano. Maybe Jessica Simpson is the smartest woman on the planet and she’s been duping us the whole time. It wouldn’t surprise me.

Pictures uploaded by turn2gold2

Has anyone ever been to a bikini contest? I for one, have not. Here’s my theory on them. Obviously they are positive for society. Don’t get me wrong. I love seeing women oiled up and looking tight. But don’t you think that they’re just a little bit of a tease?

Put it this way. I can’t stand strip clubs solely for the fact that there’s no way you’ll ever touch these women (unless you have tons of money or own the damned place). It’s like looking at Playboy. Some people appreciate hot women. And while I love the female form, it just pisses me off to no end that they’re not in my laps the moment I’m looking at them.

So a bikini contest? Well that’s just women who are even more of a tease. They oil up their bodies and you can’t even see a nipple? I mean what’s that all about? But I digress. It is my duty to put these beauties up here. Enjoy it if you can.

Pictures uploaded by Christopher Holder