Someone out there is a f*king genius.  “Here’s an idea.  Let’s stray away from just hiring hot chicks to pose in front of these cars.  Why don’t we go out and hire a bunch of strippers who are willing to dance on poles during their breaks and dike out with the other strippers.  Will that increase our audience?”

You’re damned right it will.  I wish the U.S. was this clever with their car shows.  You get guys to drool and all of a sudden the price of that Corvette doesn’t really matter now does it?  Especially when a hot chick with barely any clothes on is licking the dashboard.

Man this is awesome.

Pictures uploaded by cynikill

Sometimes they wear costumes.  Sometimes they have wigs on.  But you know something?  As long as they go those fluffy boots on, that’s what we’re here for.   Oddly enough I don’t think I’ve ever seen a porn movie where a chick has those boots riding high in the sky.

How I’ve never seen that is a complete mystery to me.  I’ve seen plenty of movies where the girl is naked all but her heels.  In fact I’d say 99% of porn movies contain a woman in heels.  But what the hell?  Why haven’t I seen a girl getting railed with nothing but those furry boots on?

I’m gonna have to look into this.  In fact my entire day just started to feel pretty depressing because of this hole in my life.  I better just check out some of these pictures and perhaps I’ll feel a bit better.

Pictures uploaded by robotgoboom

Truth be told, I have no clue if these girls are as dirty as I think they are, but come on! Sometimes you just look at a chick and know that she’s gone to the outer limits in this world. And by outer limits I mean letting men (or women) do things to them that we only see in skin flicks.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because these girls dance on stage. Maybe it’s because their hair is wet. Maybe it’s because most of them are Latina and oily. I just think that the term “anal” is very common around these women.

I also think that “Dirty Sanchez” isn’t really too far a stretch either. Speaking of stretching. Alright I’ll stop right there.

Pictures uploaded by xweb.cl

So you’re in a nightclub in Vegas and you see this one amazingly hot chick dancing by some corner wall. It’s not even a pole. You see how hot she is and you have your normal “man I’m such a loser, why can’t I get a girl like her?” thought running through your head.

And just when you start to get pissed off knowing that you won’t be taking home a girl that evening, another hot girl comes to dance with this girl. And not only do they dance. They start doing some pretty spectacular things to each other.

There are times to appreciate this and times to get upset. Here? Alone? Sitting and writing this? I get happy because I have masturbatory material. But at the actual clubs? I get the opposite effect. That’s why I never understood strip clubs. Sure it’s nice to see a hot chick in no clothes. But not getting to have sex with her? It’s more frustrating than anything in the world.

Pictures uploaded by robotgoboom

Ever notice how sometimes clubs in Las Vegas seem to have an inordinate amount of hot chicks? Well, it’s not like they just decide to be there. Clearly they are being financially compensated for these appearances. Whether it’s to wear snowy white boots are entertain some VIP’s, hired hotties are everywhere.

And my take on this? I love it. It’s about the best marketing device one could possibly have. I mean which bar would you rather go to? One with a fat dude named Phil serving you, or one with a hot chick named Monique heaving her breasts at you.

You wouldn’t care if she served you a Mai Thai instead of your requested beer as long as you saw some cleavage. So these pictures are dedicated to the hired hands that make our eyes perk up just a bit more when we enter the scene.

Pictures uploaded by robotgoboom

Why us Americans don’t hire strippers to play with each other on cars at car shows is a complete mystery to me. I’m not asking for them to get naked but it’d be helpful if they could put on some kind of nice show for a little bit.

Here in the U.S. all we really have are chicks standing like statues. Maybe if we got a little activity us men would be more inclined to make a purchase.

Perhaps if there were more to the term “Hummer” at the dealership, sales would be a little higher these days instead of Ford having to sell that brand.

It ain’t hard to market when you’ve got sexy women sprawled out on pieces of machinery to distract all the men. They should also have hot chicks at gas stations so people won’t mind the cost of gas as much. Thanks for your time.

Pictures uploaded by smoky3 and primocalabrese

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with putting on a semi strip show in front of 12 year old boys is there? Apparently not. That’s how they do it in Europe. Here in the states, our auto and bike shows consist of girls holding signs and standing by a car completely motionless.

In Europe? Leather chaps man. Leather chaps. I’ve also seen plenty of leg spreading, girls touching and nearly flat out porno sessions. If you want to draw a crowd US, you might want to consider implementing some of these strategies.

It’s also not a terrible idea to show a picture of a girl masturbating for your car ad with the slogan being “own one of our cars and this will happen to you the day you buy it.”

Pictures uploaded by Gymstar

There’s nothing better to close out the day than a picture from an erotica convention don’t you think?

Picture uploaded by lovedetonator

“Oh My God, it’s so wet!”  Quick thing to note here.  The kid in the background with the green tank top.  Kid can’t be more than 10 years old.  What gives?

Picture uploaded by Gymstar

One of the benefits of having tremendous implants and cold weather.

Picture uploaded by Rodolfo