Has anyone ever been to a bikini contest? I for one, have not. Here’s my theory on them. Obviously they are positive for society. Don’t get me wrong. I love seeing women oiled up and looking tight. But don’t you think that they’re just a little bit of a tease?

Put it this way. I can’t stand strip clubs solely for the fact that there’s no way you’ll ever touch these women (unless you have tons of money or own the damned place). It’s like looking at Playboy. Some people appreciate hot women. And while I love the female form, it just pisses me off to no end that they’re not in my laps the moment I’m looking at them.

So a bikini contest? Well that’s just women who are even more of a tease. They oil up their bodies and you can’t even see a nipple? I mean what’s that all about? But I digress. It is my duty to put these beauties up here. Enjoy it if you can.

Pictures uploaded by Christopher Holder

Want to spill water on me? Fine. Want to piss on me? If that’s your thing and you have giant breasts then by all means go ahead. If it’s moist, if it shines, hell if it’s even near a toilet and you get water on your pants then it make me a little happier.

Wetness is the bestness. I thoroughly enjoy pictures with the prospect of a girl getting soaked.

P.S. Could the guys in the pool be any douchier?

Pictures uploaded by JJ1212

Oh yeah.  There’s just something so high class about a girl in an evening gown posing on a motorcycle.  That or a “I’m feeling a gangbang coming on” type of vibe.

Picture uploaded by razvi-ro

Clearly this was taken at a public beach and clearly I’ve been going to the wrong public beaches.

Picture uploaded by bikinilover

Remember that scene in the movie Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts is only wearing a tie?  I could vomit to that scene if I compare her to this girl.  Damn

Picture uploaded by merlinofcats

That is about as perfect a body and perfect a facial expression you will find in one picture, and in one woman.

Picture uploaded by chrismoeeg

Man this girl has the potential to be super slutty.  That and whorish.  That and a vagina.  That and I’m a loser.

Picture uploaded by papajules

Cans.  Absolute.  Unadulterated.  CANS

Picture uploaded by kafercrazy

If it weren’t for that little orange covering the beaver to make me drool I’d say it was the car but as such, I’ll have to take the little vixen for now.

Picture uploaded by bikini-lover

Does anyone know what Team Capel is?  Neither do I.  Does anyone care?  Anyone?  Whoever they are, there’s definitely a lot of oil and wetness involved.  So they got that going for them..which is nice.

Picture uploaded by cafrati